Hey OCDNET community, I'm Alan, the forum creator, and I figured it was time to create my own thread (and keep it updated). As the forum admin I feel I haven't contributed as much as I should have so I'm here to fix that, share my life, and get to know you guys better.
First I just wanted to say hi and thank you all for being the most supportive and knowledgeable group out there. Without this forum, without you guys to talk to, I don't know where I'd be in my OCD journey.
So, some of you may not know me, or why I started OCD.net, (too lazy to type the whole thing).
I started this forum about 5 years ago when I thought the rules and restrictions on other health boards were too draconian. I wanted an unfiltered, devoted site to OCD injuries so I went ahead and created it. But that was the easy part. And Besides maintain and pay for the forum I really haven't done much. The community has contributed way more than I ever have and really made this forum the informative, supportive place it has become.
As for my personal injury, I don't even know where my original thread is, but my ocd is on my left ankle, two holes, medium size. I had microfracture and it didn't go that well. Ankle still feels quite weak. That was almost 10 years ago and I just kinda get by in life. I didn't run or jump for all those years after the microfracture because my ankle just couldn't handle it. Thank god I could walk but if it was long distances and if i was carrying something heavy my ankle got really iffy and sore.
Dealing with the injury was more than I could handle. I gave up. I honestly stopped doing research for years. It was this forum's members who really put in a lot of the hard work (again, thank you all for your contributions, I love you).
So where I am now is that I feel more surgeries are too risky and plus I don't have the money for them anyways. So that's another reason to be lazy about research.
A few months ago, I joined a gym that had a basketball court and I started shooting around. Basketball was my old passion and though I couldn't play, just shooting the ball didn't hurt my ankle that bad. SO i shot around for 3 months, and then one day at a different gym, there were people playing and they asked if i wanted to play. Normally I'd decline and tell them I was injured, but I don't know what came over me to say yes. I hadn't played in like.. 9 years. I think I was just a bit depressed or lost in my life and I was like F*** it, I want to play, let's just try and see what happens.
So I can't play like I used to obviously, but I found that by moving around carefully and not jumping or running around like a madman I could get by without being the worst player on the court. A few days later, I played again. And it felt so freaking amazing. I felt so alive. I did mess up my ankle a bit but it was so worth it.
And since then, i have been playing a few times a week. My ankle hurts afterwards but i take a rest for a few days and then I can't help but play again.
I don't really know where i'm going with this, just wanted to share that maybe i feel a little bit of the pain and struggle you guys go through to have to cut off your passions in life. I know i have said to some ppl to give up on their athletic dreams. But maybe there's a compromise. This is our life goddamnit, you know? We have to do the things that make us feel alive and free.
So, that's my update. I will try to post more about myself and what I'm going through and I look forward to interacting more with you guys.
Thanks for reading.
-Alan